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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834583">once again, you're here, you're broken</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DeadlyButAdorable'>DeadlyButAdorable (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Choking, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Face Slapping, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Narcotics, No Romance, Overdose, Pseudo-Incest, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Work, Trans Klaus Hargreeves, Trans Male Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Sex, dang this is sad, spit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:48:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DeadlyButAdorable</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>4:52am : the clock on the wall ticked noisily. Diego seemed to be the only one bothered.</p>
<p>The deep sanitary scent of hospitals always made his stomach churn, the off-white of everything looked dingy yet sterile. The chairs in the waiting room were black, a stark contrast against the rest of the room that made Diego’s eyes hurt. </p>
<p>There was still vomit and blood on him, and he stood in the corner near the entrance to the emergency department. People stared, he didn’t care.</p>
<p>He was still shaking. <br/>----------------<br/>things never change. diego should know better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>once again, you're here, you're broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: This fic contains some depressing shit. be warned.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>4:52am : the clock on the wall ticked noisily. Diego seemed to be the only one bothered.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The deep sanitary scent of hospitals always made his stomach churn, the off-white of everything looked dingy yet sterile. The chairs in the waiting room were black, a stark contrast against the rest of the room that made Diego’s eyes hurt. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was still vomit and blood on him, and he stood in the corner near the entrance to the emergency department. People stared, he didn’t care.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was still shaking. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had been walking through a rough part of the city. He never really had an issue doing this: cheap groceries, people usually left him alone, and he could handle himself if they didn’t. A couple blocks ahead, he saw a guy leaning against a wall in front of an alley. Keeping watch, obviously, not doing a very good job at hiding that. Diego brushed it off: he was probably a meth-head or a gangbanger. Minding his business was always the best bet for these situations. That’s when about four other guys walked out of the alley quickly, almost running into a van that had pulled up. As they drove away, Diego got closer to the alley.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That’s when he heard the gurgling.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He jogged up to the opening and peered his head in. His heart dropped and he grabbed for his bag feverishly, digging through it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The person was laying face down on the filthy ground, lace pink underwear hanging around their knees. Blood was obviously coming from their vaginal area and their thighs were covered in bruises and a few cuts. The rest of their frame was covered by a large fur coat, not at all typical in the humid heat of the night. The only other visible part of them was a scraggly mop of hair and a single hand sticking up, gripping the hair tight. The coat wasn’t moving to indicate breathing at all despite the obvious gurgle coming from beneath the coat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego acted fast, pulling off the heavy coat and throwing it aside. He felt a sharp feeling in his gut as he saw the bruised back of the person and the plastic bag wrapped around their head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This person was left here to die. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He noticed the blue-tinged hands, an obvious sign of narcotic overdose. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He flipped the person over, screaming at nearby onlookers to call 911. As he tore through the plastic “Thank You” shopping bag, he let out a disturbed noise, like a terrified animal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The pale face and blue lips of his brother were clear to him now. His eyes were rolled back into his head and vomit spurted out of his throat like a disturbing fountain. Diego moved Klaus onto his side and maneuvered him so he could release his stomach and still breath properly. He administered the narcan as he heard the ambulance arrive on the street outside the alley.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Klaus, Klaus can you hear me?” he asked desperately. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus moved his hands a bit, fingers flexing, an incomprehensible grumble leaving his lips. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The ambulance attendants took his brother away, refusing to let Diego ride in the ambulance with him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eudora walked up to Diego, but he didn’t even register her presence, going straight past her as he sprinted to his car. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now here he was, four hours later, waiting to see if his brother was comatose or braindead or any other horrific outcome that Diego was currently praying wouldn’t happen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eudora was holding coffee, extending it to Diego.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He said nothing, didn’t move. Just stared at her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> She cleared her throat and lowered her arm. She looked away, fiddling with the plastic lid on the cup. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Any news yet?” she asked, eyes avoiding Diego as much as possible. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego turned towards the entrance to the emergency department again, fully turning away from Eudora. She huffed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Diego, I didn't know okay? When they said they saw him...I thought….you told me he was in a center-"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"You promised if you or your guys saw him you would fucking tell me, now tell me."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eudora grumbled, massaging her temple. "All my guys saw was him and a few people walking to Griddys, that's it."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Great." Diego turned swiftly, taking the cup of coffee and slamming it into a trashcan next to the nurses station. "Get the fuck away from me before someone else ends up in the fucking hospital."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eudora was about to protest but a nurse called Diego over and she ceased to exist in his mind. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Walking down the stark white halls, framed stock photos and squeaky floor, Diego swore this is what Hell itself was like.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He swore under his breath, tensed his shoulders, took a deep breath and walked into the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus laid in the bed, hooked up to various machines, heart rate beeping. Oxygen was pumped into his body and an IV dripped. His eyes weren't even closed peacefully. His eyes were red and purple and half lidded, his pupils half obscured by his pale eyelids.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looked too frail, too skinny….too tiny.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"He's gonna be okay-" </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The nurse's words, most likely meant to be comforting, triggered Diego's unraveling. He shrank to the floor, shaking, gripping his face and crying silently. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hoped things would change after that. Of course they didn’t. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the apocalypse (again) Diego had actually gotten his own place. It was a decent sized apartment that was lightyears away from the boiler room he had inhabited for a long time. Rent could get tight, but he’d found steady income, and doing odd jobs didn’t bother him. Not only that but he was extremely grateful to live alone: he had his own routines and rituals, and he was always a sort of lone wolf. The silence didn’t bother him….most of the time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was nearly two in the morning. Diego couldn’t complain he awoke, he hadn’t slept in days. He couldn’t complain he was busy either, he had been rearranging the same silverware drawer for half an hour. Despite these facts, he still found a way to be annoyed at the slow knock at his door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He walked over to the door and peeked through the hole. He could barely see who it was in the dim light of the hallway but the shaky voice alerted him who was behind the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shower.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego unlocked the door and opened it, gust of autumn air pushing into the warm apartment. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus looked like shit. This sight wouldn’t have been surprising before: before the world was saved, before Klaus got a therapist and a steady job and ran off to live independently in a soho-style camper. But it was the present, and so his appearance sent a shiver down Diego’s spine.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looked greasy; his usually fluffy hair, now knotted and stringy, was resting on bare shoulders that were littered with deep purple and yellowing marks. He wore a blue tube-top, dark spattered stains sprayed across it. His black jeans were tight as always, but the bottoms here ragged and soaked with mud. He was barefoot despite the cold weather, and his toes were bright red and a bit of blue faded at the tips. The look in his eyes was a mix of a hardened soldier and a kicked puppy. The bags under his eyes and pale tint to his skin were corpse-like, accented by smudgy black around his lower lids.  He had a busted lip and it looked fairly fresh, swollen with dried blood caked around the wound. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego realised he was staring and stuttered out a “w-what?”, opening the door further.</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Shower.” Klaus repeated solemnly. A nearly dead cigarette was held between his lanky fingers, red chipped polish looking bright against his almost white skin. He took one last drag, crushing the cigarette against the doorframe and throwing it somewhere out of view, no doubt landing on the complex carpet. This usually would’ve provoked scolding from Diego about how smoking isn’t allowed in the building, let alone littering. He couldn’t seem to get any words out, simply moving over so his brother could walk inside.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus shuffled in, looking around. Diego was put together, stable, doing well. It pissed him off and made him ashamed all at the same time. Diego was doing well, and he wasn’t. Diego had a roof over his head, and he didn’t. Hell, Diego probably had health insurance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus sat on the blue couch that was in the center of the living room. He didn’t feel comfortable: he felt like he did when he sat at dinner in the academy, or with his father and his beneficiaries when he was explaining the children’s “mission”.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> Like he didn’t belong, like he shouldn’t be here. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego made a beeline for the bathroom, grabbing a couple of bottles of water on the way. He set them on the kitchen counter before going to run the shower, retrieving Klaus as the water got to the right temperature.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus was sitting on the couch and as Diego touched his shoulder, he flinched and grabbed Diego’s hand roughly. When he whipped around, the split second of horror that painted his face made Diego’s breath catch in his throat. But as soon as it came, it was gone, and Klaus was left with empty eyes and a slightly agape mouth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This is when Diego knew for a fact that Klaus wasn’t high. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How long have you been sober?” Diego asked, yanking his hand away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus huffed, massaging his temple. “Uh...I don’t fucking...six weeks?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego let out a dry laugh, one more out of discomfort than actual humor. “That’s crazy man.” It wasn’t a very helpful or comforting comment but it helps stuff the void of painful silence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus rolled his eyes, walking into the bathroom. When Diego followed, Klaus halted at the sink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you in here?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to keep an eye on you.” Diego said.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now Klaus was the one laughing. “What? Worried? If I wanted to kill myself, I wouldn’t have come here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego grit his teeth but stayed in place, closing the bathroom door behind him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus rolled his eyes, then started stripping. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The tube top came off first, revealing Klaus’s scarred chest. White scars, some more faded than others, littered his chest. Diego could pinpoint where most of them from: most from their early years in the academy. A stab wound there, a burn there. But some weren’t familiar. It didn’t surprise Diego, it just made him angry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Klaus peeled off his skin tight jeans, Diego’s breath caught in his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His legs were slightly hairy, like he had shaved recently. Up and down his legs were what looked like burns and small knicks. Hickies. Bruises.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus avoided Diego’s eyes as he peeled off his lace blue panties. The black triangle of curls between his legs was shaved down and shaped into a triangle pointing downwards. Right above his crotch was a burn. It was fresh enough that Diego could tell what it was just from looking at it: a cigarette burn.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need help.” Klaus said softly. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego grunted, walking over and opening the shower curtain. “Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need…” Shame drenched Klaus’s voice. “I need your help getting something out of me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego was confused as hell until Klaus pointed at his crotch, warble in his voice turning into a light sob. “The condom….”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego wanted to vomit. He wanted to track down every man that had ever hurt Klaus and beat the shit out of them with their own shoes. Seeing Klaus with his brows furrowed, face scrunched up in embarrassment, eyes glued to the floor, it was nothing short of depressing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego didn’t say another word. Klaus sat on the toilet while spreading his legs and Diego dug inside of him with his pointer, middle, and thumb. Klaus’s noises weren’t pleasurable, they were nauseating. Klaus had failed to mention that the man or men that had stuffed him with a condom decided to go in raw afterward and leave their load(s). Diego’s face twisted in disgust as he pulled out the slimy and soaked condom. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus looked at Diego afterwards as he stood up from the toilet, lifted the lid, and proceeded to empty his guts into it. The condom was tossed in the trash as Diego held back Klaus’s hair, looking away. He wanted to hide, he didn’t want this to be real.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus eventually made it into the shower, washing frantically, facing the wall. Diego wasn’t looking at Klaus either. He went to retrieve a water bottle he had removed from the fridge and set it on the bathroom sink before staring at the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego heard the shower stop and turned to see Klaus.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was clean and that was definitely nice. His long hair was darker from the shower and shiny. Droplets rested gently on his long eyelashes and above his pouty lips. His eyes were large and doe like as they looked at Diego.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then, without a beat, they rushed towards each other, Klaus’s towel dropping.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This always happened.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego attacked Klaus’s mouth but Klaus fought back. Their kiss was messy and rough, Diego sucking Klaus’s bottom lip and their teeth bumping every now and then. Klaus groaned as Diego grabbed hold of Klaus’s ass roughly, squeezing and slapping. Klaus sunk to his knees, undoing Diego’s belt and pulling out his half-hard cock,instantly sucking greedily, fucking his throat. Klaus felt his hair get tugged roughly, Diego bucking into his mouth aggressively.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They made it to the bed somehow, and soon Diego was pounding into Klaus. Klaus moaned and screamed in pleasure, dirty praise falling from his lips. Diego roughly slapped Klaus in the face before gripping his throat. Klaus’s face became strained as Diego slowly cut off his breathing, and Diego relished in how it made his brother so much tighter. He let go of his brother’s throat, leaving him gasping as he slapped and twisted his brother’s small chest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego felt Klaus throbbing, getting closer. He gripped Klaus’s hair, pulling it back. When Diego ordered, Klaus opened his mouth. Diego spit in his brother’s mouth before gripping his neck once more, pounding mercilessly as Klaus wailed and came hard, spurting all over him. Diego came soon after, slapping Klaus in the face once more, whipping his whole head to the side. He growled as he buried his cock deep inside his brother, filling him up as he tugged his hair up and dug his teeth deep into Klaus’s shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Klaus’s wail and keening left Diego panting hard and coming even harder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And just as fast as it had started, it was over. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Diego walked to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge before going to the bathroom for a piss. He could hear shuffling about as he shook himself off and flushed. By the time he finished washing his hands, he heard the front door slam shut.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed, walking directly into his bedroom. He checked his side table. Klaus had only taken about $160, not enough to damage Diego’s income. One of his watches was missing too, along with a gold plated lighter Eudora had given him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He flopped onto his bed, ignoring the wet patch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was always like this.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>dang...that was sad. comment and kudos if you enjoy, tho</p></blockquote></div></div>
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